This Time It’s Personal

The day after the presidential election, I wrote an article entitled Why He Won. I was reeling from his victory, in disbelief that so many Americans wanted to give him power again. I had thought that January 6 was enough on its own to make him electorally toxic. I had forgotten, again, that he could shoot somebody in the middle of Fifth Avenue and not lose any supporters. 

I dealt with my bitter disappointment by writing about some of the ways Democrats need to change if they want to stop losing winnable elections. It helped me that day—writing through the pain—and I stand by my suggestions. 

Afterward, I resolved to ignore politics as much as possible, for my own sanity. For my own enjoyment of life. I resented how many hours of my time this man had dominated. I just wanted to put my head down and focus on friends, family, and daily life. And for the most part, I succeeded. 

Until the final week of February. 

On Tuesday, February 25, we learned that the clinical trial that is part of our family’s fight against Alzheimer’s disease is in danger due to the ordered cuts at NIH, specifically the freeze on grant reviews. This freeze is—as the name suggests—having a chilling effect on research. Long-scheduled grant review meetings have been canceled, rescheduled, and canceled again. Without them, our funding can’t be released.

I’ll be honest: that news was terrifying. More than that, it was infuriating. We’ve been part of this community for fifteen years, fighting alongside brilliant doctors and researchers who’ve devoted their careers to stopping Alzheimer’s disease. We’ve wept and prayed alongside other families like ours that have been ravaged for generations by this cruel sickness. They, along with my husband, have given their blood, sweat, tears, and spinal fluid trying to defeat this disease—not only for themselves, but for everyone, everywhere. 

And for many years, my country has supported us. Americans overwhelmingly want scientific research on our deadliest diseases to continue, which is why Congress has approved and appropriated billions of dollars for Alzheimer’s research (though it’s a fraction of what the government spends on care for Alzheimer’s patients.) This money is already set aside in the budget. These funds were already provisionally approved for our trial.

And now, because of this man, whom I’ve spent the past ten years begging people to realize is unfit to lead us, we may lose the prevention for Alzheimer’s disease. He is poised to throw away fifteen years of steady momentum up to this moment, when we are on the cusp of beating one of the most feared illnesses in the world. 

My husband, whom I love more than my own life, and who has courageously fought for himself, for his children, and for the world against this disease, may sicken and die from early-onset Alzheimer’s rather than being its first survivor—as a direct result of Donald Trump’s reckless and myopic actions. 

It’s been a lot. 

And it has forced me to consider whether speaking out publicly against him is a good strategy, considering that we need all the public support we can get to try and spur action from our representatives. (I want to offer my thanks here to the family and friends who support this president and yet took action on our behalf, reaching out to the White House and their representatives, asking them to right this wrong.)

Three days after that phone call, the world watched the Oval Office ambush of Volodymyr Zelenskyy by Donald Trump and JD Vance. It made me feel physically sick. Watching America’s leaders berate and belittle the leader of a valiant country that’s been invaded and bombed for three solid years by a murderous, war-crime-committing dictator—a country which gave up its nuclear weapons in exchange for our promise to protect it—left me shocked. I long ago lost the ability to be surprised by this man, but I can still be shocked. 

I messaged a friend that evening: “In all the shock and horror and disbelief of the past 10 years, nothing comes close to the rage and despair I feel today. Pax Americana is over. We’ve switched sides. Today the whole world watched America spit on everything she used to stand for. I really believe we can’t come back from this, no matter who wins the next election. The world knows that America and Americans can’t be trusted.”

I wanted nothing more than to again write through the pain, to try to convey to people whose chosen sources of information will always and only praise whatever Donald Trump does, just how cataclysmic that spectacle was and will be for America and the world. 

But I’d just learned that my husband’s life and the prevention of Alzheimer’s disease were at stake, and I didn’t want to risk angering people whose help I needed. So, I bit my tongue.

Since then, I’ve nearly bitten my tongue clean off. Almost daily there has been another impeachable offense, another outrage against democracy, another middle finger to the Constitution. The scale and scope of the corruption, cruelty, and destruction feel overwhelming—which is by design. It’s Steve Bannon’s “flood the zone” strategy: a relentless onslaught that’s nearly impossible to keep up with, let alone counter with any meaningful resistance. So far, it’s been extremely successful. 

Two hundred and thirty-eight years ago at the Constitutional Convention, a woman asked Benjamin Franklin whether they had created a republic or a monarchy. He famously replied, “A republic, if you can keep it.”

For the first time in my life, I am afraid we may not keep it. 

I know this will sound hysterical to my friends on the right who only hear how wonderfully the first 100 days of this term are going. In the coming weeks, I hope to show you why I don’t believe it’s hysterical at all. 

It’s why I’m not going to keep quiet anymore. I don’t have delusions of grandeur; I know that writing my little blog is not going to topple this administration and save our democracy. But I believe we are at a crossroads; this country I love is in severe danger, and she is worth fighting for. So I will fight. With whatever gifts I have and whatever influence I possess. 

I know I can’t fight alone, so at the end of each article, I will include a concrete action we can each take to stand up for the republic. 

This isn’t the first time Americans have found themselves living under a despot who elevated himself above the law. We didn’t lie down and submit then, and we won’t now. That’s not what Americans do. 

I’m sorry for lying down for the past few months. I’m standing up now. Stand with me. 

What we can do:
Nationwide protests are happening in all 50 states this Saturday, April 5. It will be by far the biggest show of public disapproval of Trump’s and Musk’s destructive policies so far. For you, it may be the mass firings of civil servants, the carelessness with national security, the detentions and deportations, the devastating tariffs, or something else. For me, it’s all of the above, but especially Alzheimer’s research. Marty and I will be at the one in Denver. Find one near you and stand up with us! https://handsoff2025.com/